Katie's Story

I was abused by a family member in the summers when my sister and I would visit extended family in another state. It started when I was 5 years old and continued for several years. My repressed memories surfaced when I was 34 years old when I was in therapy for yet another failed romantic relationship. … [My therapist] thought a group setting would be a fast-track way to deal with my debilitating shame. It was a few months after that before I found the courage to call Wings.

Most days I am in love with life. That is the definition of healing to me. I am grateful for my inclination to growth and learning, a life-long endeavor. Wings helped me to jump and trust the unknown, and I have continued my personal development journey beyond Wings. I have found grace for myself and others, and I carry my childhood trauma in a gentle way, allowing it to be a part of who I am, but not letting it drive my life anymore. I continue to study and gain new skills in my adventure of life. I am honored to walk alongside other survivors in their healing journeys.

The hardest part of my recovery was experiencing the repressed memories without being able to do anything to change the past. I learned coping strategies and that it wasn’t my fault. Because of the way my little kid brain handled the trauma, it was challenging to let go of the thing that had allowed me to survive the abuse. Ultimately it was doable, and I wouldn’t trade the hard-earned skill set. The shame was only trying to keep me safe, and getting underneath the shame, through my time at Wings, took time, consistent professional support, and courage. 

That I went from not being able to speak to being able to share my story in service to others, to offer hope that healing, acceptance, and peace is possible. 

Their behavior is out of deep pain not ill intent. Skill sets can be learned when the trauma is also addressed. Relationships can be a place of deep reciprocated healing. Patience and grace are required in addition to healthy loving boundaries, which will enhance your life also if you are open to it. Trauma survivors are special people, proofed by fire. Healing trauma will allow survivors to access the most tender vulnerable loving places inside themselves and it is a true gift if they share that with you. Respect the gift.

If you or someone you know is a loved one of a survivor and is looking for more information, please visit our Loved Ones page.

Please do it. The pain of walking through the fire is rewarded with a beautiful mystery behind your healing. Let others show you it is possible. Receive support.

If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse thinking about reaching out for support, learn more about how Wings can help.

Adult survivors’ needs are so unique because they have to open a closed door to revisit childhood to heal childhood trauma while maintaining adult responsibilities. They have to live in two different worlds until enough healing allows integration into the present now. This is exhausting and full of debilitating shame. Adult survivors have a general distrust of authority because in most cases they were let down by authority figures. Once adult survivors find the incredible strength that made them survive in the first place, they are a force of nature! Adult survivors deserve every chance at healing, and it can be a slow process, but it is very worth the effort. 

Thank you! Trauma from childhood sexual abuse is a public health issue that is not openly discussed. The statistics are horrific, showing how common the issue is. While this might not necessarily be a glamorous mission, it is a very important one with far-reaching social effects. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse were victims at a time when they had no defenses, and this colors their entire life until they find the help they need to heal. Help takes resources, and it is an unfair burden on the survivor. When survivors find healing and find that fire in their belly when they realize they aren’t victims anymore, their lives can open back up. They can live full lives, creating a ripple effect and contributing to the greater good. But they need our collective help. This issue needs a voice. It is a quiet drain on our society if we let it be. Wings is an amazing organization tackling both public education, public policy, healing services, and more. It is an honor to contribute beyond myself to a mission I was so deeply impacted by, and I stand alongside you supporting this important work. 

We believe it was through Katie’s therapist, although we were also researching what was available in her area. 

That it was a badly needed resource! But it was some time before she was ready to attend a Wings meeting.

Oh my gosh, I don’t know if I can find words to describe this, but I’ll try! She went from feeling absolutely worthless and unloved to a survivor who still hurts but knows she can overcome the obstacles.

We tried to be there for her when she needed us without being enablers. I’m not sure how we did, but we tried.

You absolutely must have patience! It’s a long process, but healing will come. – It does no good to blame yourself for the abuse. – Reading and educating yourself helps with understanding how child sexual abuse can occur.

If you or someone you know is a loved one of a survivor and is looking for more information, please visit our Loved Ones page.

You may not be ready for this initially, but please look into Wings as soon as you’re mentally able. Loved ones cannot understand everything you’re going through, but other survivors absolutely will! Wings can also help with the blame you’re putting on yourself.

If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse thinking about reaching out for support, learn more about how Wings can help.

Be patient! And then be patient. And then be patient some more! Your survivor is dealing with emotions that you can’t understand, even with the best of intentions. Consider reading books like “The Body Keeps the Score.” This book was so helpful in understanding why our child was easily manipulated, why she could possibly think we didn’t love her or would kick her out of the house if she “told.”

Adult survivors are all around you. They may be in your family or your inner circle or your work group. Many are silent about the abuse. They may not even realize what happened to them as children. But they suffer from anger issues, concentration problems, failed relationships. If you have the means to support an organization like Wings, believe me, you could be helping someone you know!