Find the Right Therapist
You get to choose who you work with for trauma recovery and healing.
Individual therapy can be a valuable part of the healing journey for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We have found that adult survivors who commit to individual therapy and regularly attend their Wings Support Group makes the most significant progress in their healing.
You might find a therapist through their own private practice, or you might find a therapist by going to an agency that employs therapists as part of their staff. Some people find a therapist through their health insurance or an Employee Assistance Program. However you find a therapist, it’s important to find a fit that feels good to you. When you are addressing difficult issues like childhood sexual abuse, it may be uncomfortable at times, and the relationship with your therapist should feel safe and supportive.
If researching therapists who have a private practice:
Many therapists will offer an initial session for free (make sure to ask about this!) This is the chance for both of you to get to know each other. You may decide a specific therapist is not a good fit, or they may determine that they are not a good match to meet your needs.
If a therapist is not a good fit for any reason, it’s not your fault. Therapists have different styles and specialties. Not every therapist is trained in the complex dynamics of childhood sexual abuse and the ways it impacts adults. Or they might not have the background, training and values that align with your needs. Working with the wrong therapist will be unproductive, and it’s always worth the effort to find someone who’s right for you.
If researching therapists through organizations or agencies (such as a mental health or sexual assault center):
Many of these same considerations will still apply. The questions you may ask may include the individual professional you will be working with and/or the agency overall. Be empowered to do your homework and be willing to do a few discovery calls or consultations to determine the therapist and/or agency that will be best for your needs.
“I’ve made more progress with the right counselor and my Wings support group in the last 10 months, than I did the entire previous 2 years with a counselor who did not understand issues related to childhood sexual abuse.” – Wings Support Group Graduate
Finding the right therapist for individual trauma recovery support can take a lot of time and emotional energy, and you don’t have to do it alone. Wings is here to help you! You can schedule a call with a Survivor Services Navigator to receive personalized referrals to qualified practitioners in your area. It may also be helpful to consider the following topics and questions, as you do your own research on who to work with.
Identity, culture, and personality
Many therapists are trained and comfortable working with people of all different identities and cultures. You may prefer to work with a therapist who shares certain parts of their identity with you. Or you may want to ensure a therapist has specific training and experience working with certain identities.
Here are some factors that may be important to you: Race or culture, age, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, neurodivergence (like autism, ADHD, Tourette’s, Epilepsy, and other conditions), and spiritual beliefs.
- What is your experience working with survivors of color? (Latina, Black, Native American, Asian or Asian American, Native Hawaiin or Other Pacific Islander, etc. clients?)
- What do you think is important when working with people who are from communities of color as opposed to other groups?
- What is your experience working with survivors of sexual trauma who identify as LGBTQIA+?
- What values do you hold for working with this group?
- How can I expect your services to be tailored to my needs?
- What is your experience working with male survivors of childhood sexual abuse?
- Are there differences in male survivors from others? If so, what are they? How would these differences change how you work with me?
- What is your experience working with survivors who have disabilities?
- Is your office accessible; is your website accessible?
- What is your experience working with survivors who were sexually abused in their families?
- Are you clear to support me as a survivor? Are you willing to work with other family members if I want to involve them in my healing process? How do you typically do this?
Who can prescribe medication?
A psychiatrist is a medical doctor (M.D.) who specializes in mental illness. This is the primary type of provider who can prescribe medication for mental health conditions. Some psychiatrists will see patients for therapy and others will prescribe and monitor psychiatric medications while the patient sees someone else for therapy.
All medical doctors (M.D.) can prescribe medications, although if the M.D. is not a Psychiatrist, it is important to ask about their training in mental/behavioral health.
In Colorado, some advanced practice nurses with prescriptive authority (APN RXN) can prescribe medication. Nurses who have advanced training in mental/behavioral health are called Clinical Nurse Specialists. It is best if a nurse prescribing medication for mental health conditions has both advanced specialties.
What questions should I ask to determine a good fit?
The following may be questions you want to ask over the phone or in an initial session to help you find a therapist/agency who will be a good fit for you. Click on each question to see more information.
Many therapists do not receive adequate training working with trauma, and even fewer have experience working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. You may want to follow up by asking about whether they’ve worked with clients with your specific experience – abuse in the family, in a religious setting, men who were abused by women, etc. – as referenced above.
Answers might include evidence-based trauma-focused therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Cognitive Therapy, Prolonged Exposure, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), Brief Eclectic Psychotherapy, and some Medications. Many therapists will also describe how they approach deciding what to work on with you and when, how they will interact with you, what they expect in terms of homework or work you can do outside of therapy sessions and how you should get support between sessions.
You can find descriptions developed by the American Psychological Association here.
Alternative therapies that survivors have found to be beneficial include but are not limited to Somatic Experience Therapy, Art Therapy, music Therapy, bodywork, yoga, nutrition guidance, support groups, and traditional indigenous or faith-based healers.
Therapy can be expensive. We recommend asking these follow-up questions to determine whether this therapist can meet your needs.
- What insurances do you accept?
- Is there a fee for the initial session?
- What does a regular appointment cost? Do you offer free services or a sliding scale?
Many communities have a sexual assault or rape crisis center and services may be available free or low cost at these centers. Due to high demand, this may come with a waitlist. You can inquire about the length of wait and determine if this is workable for you.
Local Community Mental Health Centers often have services available on sliding scales based on income. Ask if they have therapists trained in treating trauma and adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Wings can help with referrals to low-cost services.
If you are currently an adult (over 18) you do not have to report sexual abuse you experienced as a child to law enforcement to receive services, nor do any mental health providers you speak with if you live in Colorado. (Each state has different reporting requirements, so if you live outside of Colorado, you may want to check reporting laws in that State.)
You do have a right to report the abuse that happened to you in childhood to law enforcement. If you have decided to report sexual abuse to law enforcement, you may be eligible for Victim’s Compensation. If you are working with a victim advocate, talk to them for more information.
- Do you have a waitlist? How long is it? How long would I expect to wait?
- What are your typical availability hours? Are you available for emergency phone calls and appointments?
- How do you set goals with your clients and assess progress toward these goals?
- Do you think inappropriate sexual activity with a child is always damaging?